A farewell, on the day after yesterday.

I don't know how to start. But I started, didn't I? How is that possible? When you don't know how to but you do and you know you do. Did I?
Here I am. Am I? Where am I? You're there, aren't you? Where are you? I'm here. You're there. Are we? But where are we?

I'm in a crowded place. But everybody's starting to leave now. I plan on staying for a while. I'm in the usual place, but today it's crowded. Same day as a long yesterday ago but today it's different. I'm waiting for a present but it's running late. Do they deliver presents on a 1:25 AM? They do, right? Or am I just stupid? What were you trying to say? Even if it'd be too late, tell me.

Do you love yesterday? I do. Can I hate it now? I was 1 hour and 33 minutes late but how come it didn't come at all? I'm talking about my present here. There are strange things in this world. They happen on their own. Perhaps to tell us that we don't have presents in the first place.

In my mind, an apology keeps on replaying. For me not from me. But it was not yesterday. It was that day same as yesterday. Did you know? Someone was sleeping that day.

Everybody's gone now. Were they happy and fulfilled? Were they lonely? Were everybody given presents? Who knows. I'm sure they'll be back again. On a day, on THAT day, same as yesterday and yesterday ago. It will take a long while again but it will come. And when it comes, please...give me an apology again.

I bid goodbye to yesterday now. I give the lights a wave now. I thank everybody who came and recognized me. I'm grateful for the photographs. I thank me, I'm okay. No, I'll be okay.

I bid goodbye to a Christmas day.

Without you...

But I'll be staying for a while.

Oh,take me back to the start.

I recall a conversation.
Lines that changed a big part of my life..
On a day when there's no way you could forget about it anytime,soon.
I saw myself escaping from time
Transported inside my heart
And felt the same worst but best feeling again.
The time I first realized how it feels to have your dream come true
Is the same time I first realized how it feels to wake up...
The words echo in my head like heaven.

And once again...

It chased all my sanity away.

Contemplation

How tired I am of this unbearable distance between us.
How I long for the toll of the recess bell
Have you forgotten me?
Grown mindless of me
Please tell me I'm not writing into an abyss
or that is what will become of my heart.

You always used to.

Times when an expected disclosure still leads to disappointment, throbs again today.
I understand.
I don't feel bad that you're not here.
What shatters me is knowing that you could be here...
You just choose not to.

"My goodnight greeting is not for you"

"For who?"

"For someone else... Goodbye"




Sigh.

It's not cool to have another title that says "a bed time story. But it's not about being cool anyway: "A bed time story"

Right now, I'll write about something that I was writing a while ago.
I was writing about something but I thought I'm still a long way through finishing so I saved it in my drafts and will post it here some other time. For your information, it's 3:14 AM now. I don't really feel like sleeping yet, but I have to.
Today, or technically I should now refer it as yesterday...is Monday.
Suddenly, I couldn't figure out what the continuation of my thought is supposed to be. So that's it.
Yesterday is Monday. Today is Tuesday. How senseless. :D
Truths sometimes are senseless. But we have to live with them because we don't have a choice. I did say sometimes ,though. So, I'm free from disagreements.
The rain comes and goes. It will be my company to sleep tonight.
I'm not really looking forward to today but I'm waiting for it. Because there would be you. And everything makes sense. Even lamentation. Even ignorance. Even foolishness becomes so cheap of a word.

I'll leave you with the word that he wasn't able to tell me today.

Goodnight.