Don't let me fall - by Lenka

Underneath the moon, underneath the stars
Here's a little heart for you
Up above the world, up above it all
Here's a hand to hold on to

But if I should break, if I should fall away
What am I to do?
I need someone to take a little of the weight
Or I'll fall through

You're just the one that I've been waiting for
I'll give you all that I have to give and more
But don't let me fall


We will be alright, I'll be by your side
I won't let you down
But I gotta know no matter how things go
That you will be alright


You'll be the one that I'll love forever more
I'll be here holding you high above it all
But don't let me fall

PMS:The root of all evil?

"That time of the month"

Okay. So this entry is going to be a little bit sensitive. Perhaps (to some) because of the chosen subject or (for me) coz it's occurring. Yes, thank you.
Well, I was feeling weird, grumpy and irrational whole day, the other day and a part of my mind was pointing it out already, the culprit, but I chose to blame it to whatever else until I saw an article, while I was browsing facebook a while ago. It was about a picture of a baby, obviously newly-born, found floating on dirty water. I'm not exactly sure where but the baby was thrown there with all the garbage. And it really broke my heart. :(
Just like the other day, when I read an article about kittens that were abused and I was really mad. I'm really against animal abuse and yeah to think this time it's human, it's more heartbreaking. Then again, I wasn't really expecting tears until they failed me. I already had an inkling positivity of where to blame my emotional outburst to. And so, I turned face to face with the sure enemy and sole reason why I suddenly felt scared thinking about my life in the shower. PMS.

PMS(Premenstrual Syndrome) or Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, for a slight background, is a wide range of physical and emotional symptoms that typically occur a few days or at least a week before a woman starts her monthly menstrual cycle. According to Wikipedia, the three most prominent symptoms are irritability, tension and dysphoria (unhappiness) and others would include confusion, hopelessness, mood swings, anxiety, poor judgement, increased fears and so on and so forth.

Most women undergo this phase every month and I'm even surprised I could write and have it at the same time. If you know what I mean. It made sense why I was overreacting to something someone told me that I usually don't take personally. Or why I suddenly felt distance on the formation of words from someone I always find the sweetest of all human being. Thanks to my unbalanced hormonal discharge.

Anyway, I remembered writing about this same subject before and so I think I'd share a little part of what I found in my long list of pending drafts. This was written 19th of April, 2011.


"Oh the days I hate the most. Getting easily offended by just anything someone tells you. Every little thing pisses you off. Being on a rebellious phase wherein you feel like disobeying everything. You don't feel like tolerating anybody's crap, especially yours. You always feel like throwing everything that doesn't work properly, like this stupid USB mouse with the left click crapping out. Thinking that even crapping out is such a gentle term to describe it. When "MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX!!" keeps playing on your mind all day. Facebook is extra boring. And people you usually miss, get on your nerves."

Obviously I was suffering from PMS too while I was writing that but seemed a lot more lunatic than my condition right now and so there's no doubt it turned out unfinished. It was still that time I was feeling that everything was falling apart. And that would be on normal days, imagine on PMS phases. So yeah, basically that short extraction simply described what it's like to have a roller coaster of emotion inside. I'm pretty sure men and  women both experience their share of  mood swings but for some reason female mood swings are just so obvious. When men are cranky, they usually assume, 'It's a bad day! or don't bug me!' but for women, the mood is just so unstable, it goes up and down like a roller coaster ride. Predictability is an enemy on this women hormonal heck.

Well I guess what I'm just really trying to say is that we, women, have this majestic excuse for our sudden psycho days and it might as well be of good use for men to know the matter as well and understand why women as they always wonder, are confusing and unstable sometimes.
And yes, it's no fun really to be in this phase called PMS but it's kinda relieving to know, no, it's A LOT relieving to know that when the sky suddenly turns grey, red-orange, blue and back to grey again, there's always something to blame it to.
Without  taking it personally. ;)