Don't cry. Your eyeliner will smudge.

Faster than a thief at night.
You caught me off guard.
Why must you be the first to knock on the door
When I was planning to not see you at all.
Oh dear little fragments of inefficacy.

Still.

Seriously Jelly, until now?

After all these time.

Whyyyy...

One foot on the ground.

If I have both feet on the ground
I'd be stiff and won't be able to move places.

If I have both feet off the ground
I'd float so high it will hurt when I fall.

If I have one foot on the ground
I'd be able to walk, run, dance, skip.

If I have one foot on the ground
If I fall it wouldn't hurt as badly.

When other sources cease to make me whole...

Where is the quite hand, to calm my anguish?

Who, who can understand?

HE, only One.

                                                           

When comfort and assurance work through other people you barely know.

X: Don't settle for anything less than the best. Whoever you end up marrying should treat you like a queen, every second of every day. You deserve that! I'm not saying that there won't be difficult times but he should always put your feelings before anything else and your happiness should be the most important thing in the world to him.You are special [Jelly] and you should be treated that way.

Y: *How did you know I was longing to hear that?* said my mind.

Oh dear diary.

Today is a sjfdlhjris49657\o[l;6-8965jrtjhehwhg]][[';.jihgsjghshgsjdnhlsnh day. :|

Alexithymia

The word alexithymia literally means "no words for emotions", from the Greek a for "lack". lexis for "word" and thymia for "emotion". Alexithymia is a maladaptive psychological disorder characterized by the inability to identify and verbally describe emotions and feelings in oneself as well as in others.
Lately I have been feeling emotionally challenged. Not so much about how I feel but more of like putting the words together to express how I feel.
 Even the mere things I wrote before right now came out in a really slow process. There was this flick I was in before, when you could easily tell I'm feeling down coz a blog entry magically appears on a daily basis. Blogging used to be my outlet, well still is right now, but for some reason I couldn't finish anything, much worse start something. I couldn't write anything long anymore. And allow me to say the dramatic words, now where's the refuge on that? 
Here I go explaining something about how i couldn't write about something and thinking that maybe it would compensate for the lost words.
I have been feeling a lot since the time I had decided to tread on a different phase in my life. And as I reviewed my blog, seeing how so little was said when there were so much more that was felt since then, I wondered...why?
Why didn't I write them? Why couldn't I?
As I search for visible answers in my mind while recalling the instances i backed out during those many times that I tried, somehow there's enlightenment. I knew why I didn't. I knew why I couldn't. And I know it's going to be a lot more like that from now on. For the same reason I'm writing this right now.

I did want to call it cowardice but I'd stand for something I think I'd take as an asset, something I dream of perfecting, something heroic, something that breaks my heart. Selflessness. 

Yes.

Cheer up.

It's not like you didn't see that coming anyway.