I came across the same article I have read some time ago about Chuck Norris jokes. I find them hilarious. So for those who haven't heard of them yet, here goes!
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave. He kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris swims, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself at the back of the head.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
If you Google search “Chuck Norris getting his butt kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
All men are created equal.....except for Chuck Norris, he's better.
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